A commonly quoted statistic is that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death -- and like a lot of “common knowledge”, it’s not actually true.  That statistic is based on the Bruskin Report, published in 1973, which asked 3,000 Americans what they were afraid of.  41% of respondents chose public speaking.  Death was lower on the list, along with deep water, illness, financial problems, insects, loneliness, and, of course, fear of heights.  But, does that mean that Americans would die, go bankrupt, spend a month in solitary, or jump out of an airplane if it would get them out of speaking in public?  I think not.

In fact, most people engage in public speaking almost every day of their lives without even thinking about it.  When you ask the cashier for $20 cash back with your purchase - that’s public speaking.  When you tell the waiter that your steak is cooked well-done and you asked for medium - that’s public speaking.  When you hear someone talking about a movie and you put your 2 cents in - that’s public speaking.  So what is there to get all upset about?

I know -- most people don’t think of those interactions as public speaking but you’re doing the same thing in them that you do in presentation situations: you’re asking for something you need, correcting a mistake, or trying to influence others to understand and accept your position on a topic.  The difference is that the possibility for judgment is strictly limited in the examples above. 

Let’s face it --isn’t what we’re truly nervous about the question of “what will they think of me?”  I’ll be the first to admit it.  I make my living by speaking in public and I still get a little bit nervous the first time I meet with a prospective client or conduct a workshop for a group that I haven’t worked with before.  (Cold calls are the worst and I apologize to anyone who has been on the receiving end of my “say it as quickly as you can and maybe they won’t hang up on you” prospecting calls.)  I can phrase it in a variety of deflective ways “I don’t want to bother them,” or “I’m just concerned that they won’t get it,” or “I’m afraid I’ll forget what I want to say.”  But, deep down, I’m really scared that they will judge me and find me lacking.

So what to do about this problem?  Well, I’ve been doing some reading on the internet and most experts and non-experts, alike, indicate that deep breathing exercises are pretty much all you need to conquer that fear!  Heck, if deep breathing worked so well, they’d have women doing it when they birth babies! Oh wait . . .  

But there’s a significant difference -- labor is primarily a physical experience.  Most women aren’t plagued with thoughts like “what will the doctor and nurses think of me?” when they go into the delivery room.

Public speaking anxiety is a psychological experience.  A few things we know about public speaking anxiety:

1. •It is an irrational fear: It does not respond to reason
   

2. •It is a focused fear; akin to a phobia
   

3. •It is a mentally constructed situation of danger: although your body responds in physical ways, the only danger presented by public speaking situations is in your mind.  (The audience isn’t going to rush the stage and beat you to death with the PowerPoint notes you gave them -- even if they are really boring!)
   

To truly conquer presentation anxiety, you must take a two-pronged approach: minimize the physical manifestations of your fear and fully address the mindset that makes you afraid in the first place. To that end, allow me to make a few suggestions:

1.  Breathe deeply and think about it while you are doing it

I know I mocked it earlier, but deep breathing is one of the most efficient ways to gain control of your mental and physical processes when you are in a stressful situation.  It slows down almost every one of your body’s natural responses to fear (aka “fight or flight”): the adrenaline rush to get you ready to run, the blood flow shift to major muscle groups, etc.

Think about it, if your body channels blood to your major muscles so that you can run to safety or fight to defend yourself, it has to get the blood from somewhere.  It pulls it away from the brain.  That’s why you have difficulty remembering what you want to say and forming coherent sentences when you get nervous. 

By slowing your breathing, you force your systems to ease up and you get more oxygen to the brain -- which makes it work better.  By focusing on your breathing, you force your mind away from the negative thoughts that often take over in situations of nervousness.

One of my favorite breathing exercises is the 4 - 2 - 4.  Very simply, you inhale to a count of four, hold your breath for a count of two, and exhale to a count of four.  Do this a couple of times (or 20) whenever you start to feel overly anxious.

2. Learn the Rules of the Game

This isn’t a shameless plug.  Really!  One of the best ways to build your confidence in a public speaking situation is to learn how to put together a whiz-bang presentation.  For the remarkably self-motivated folks out there, a number of books and websites can give you really useful information for planning and preparing great presentations.  For the rest of us, training workshops are probably the best route to take. 

An interesting, informative, and engaging workshop (such as the Stand Up & SPEAK! workshop presented by Bravo CC) can help you build a foundation of useful skills that will guide you through the stresses of developing your presentation.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of a plug.  But, it’s still true!

3. Lock your Ego in the Closet

Yes, the “What will they think of me?’ problem is your ego.  By injecting your sense of self into the presentation, you make it into a test of your character instead of what it really is: a common, everyday occurrence of information sharing.  Then your focus is all off because you’re thinking of yourself instead of the message (which is the whole reason you’re speaking in the first place). 

When you let your ego get in the way, you change the presentation from useful and informative for the audience into the “All About Me Show!”  I’m certainly guilty of this and I have to watch my tendency to add too many “isn’t Millie funny?” stories into our workshops.  If my purpose was to convince everyone that I’m a wonderful person, I wouldn’t even waste time on public speaking stuff.  I’d put up slides with my most becoming pictures and spend the whole time talking about what a cool and awesome person I am.  You know, sort of like a match.com ad.

Remember, the audience is there for a reason.  Focus your attention on them and what they need.  Practice this mantra: It’s not about us, it’s about them.

4. Be Completely Present in the Moment

One of the biggest challenges in competitive sports is getting your head right.  Most professional golfers have both a technique coach and a sports psychologist with whom they work regularly.  Imagine - if the words racing through Tiger Woods’ head every time he set up over the ball were “I hope I don’t hit this too badly!” he probably wouldn’t have to worry about how to invest all of his money.  That’s because he wouldn’t be making any.

It doesn’t matter if you’re focused on the possibility of failure or how great things are going to be once the presentation is over.  If you are focused on anything besides the moment of your presentation and what you need to do in that moment, then you are thinking about the wrong thing.  You were asked to speak for a reason.  Focus on your purpose and give it all you’ve got.

Almost everyone feels some nervousness when faced with presenting information to others, but I’m not convinced that the situation is as bad as most people make out.

I’m willing to bet that with a few shifts in your mental preparation, you can start the process of letting go of your fears and deliver powerful presentations.

Go ahead!  Try it!

5. Dare to Connect

Although reading from a manuscript ensures that you won’t leave out a single word, it does little to spark interest or inspire listeners to do anything but go to sleep.  You’ve all sat through those presentations and you know how painful they are.  Manuscripts provide accuracy.  But, more importantly, they provide safety.  Admit it - if you never look up from your notes, you’ll never have to acknowledge that anyone else is there.

Dare to leave your notes on your chair!  Dare!  Dare!  The audience will love you for it and they’ll listen to you and won’t just sit there and wonder when you’ll be done.

Oh, and leave the lights on.  Yes, I’m serious.  You have to see each other to connect. 

Nervous about speaking in public?

Let go of your ego and get out on that stage!

What you find on this page is not a comprehensive method for ridding yourself of anxiety, but it’s a good place to start.  And don’t get too worried about being nervous.  It’s part of the public speaking process.  Just accept it and work through it.  You’re in good company, too, because most people get nervous when they’re in front of a crowd.  Just don’t let the fact that your peers are scared keep you from plunging in and doing your best.

-- Millie Shaw